As we go through life, whether in our personal or professional arena, we will encounter disappointments. It is inevitable. It can be a crummy product we purchase and download, a business associate that doesn’t keep to agreed-upon deadlines, a business partner that steals your idea or concept or someone who is close to you that decides to be dishonest to you. Stuff will happen.

The most important thing to remember is that it is not “You” but the decision that “other” person made to act or do what they did.  They probably didn’t do it to hurt you, but rather they did it because it was what benefitted them or filled their need most at that moment.

Now that doesn’t excuse what they did or mean you have to accept or tolerate it. It is just important that you don’t fixate on the feelings you experience when that happens and respond solely in an emotional fashion. You need to step back and try and look at the situation without letting your feelings dictate your reaction.

I know that I have personally messed up business decisions, because I responded emotionally to a situation and lost focus on what would have been a more profitable solution. If you purchase a product and are unhappy with it, request a refund. If a simple request doesn’t work, make a second request and politely let them know you will be taking legal action if the problem is not resolved.

If someone steals your idea or concept, ask yourself if you done what is necessary to protect yourself from such a theft (copyright, trademark, treatment) and if so, approach the other party with the facts and request that they cease to use, sell or promote “your” material. Don’t stoop to calling names, running around bad-mouthing them or whatever, you will look like the one out of control. Stay calm and decide which plan of action to take (legal ones) and do it without fanfare.

If you maintain your posture and control, you will ultimately come out ahead. Other people can see what is going on and will ultimately recognize the truth. One of my favourite sayings is: “People of Integrity expect to be believed, and when they’re not, they let time prove them right!” Keep integrity on your side and you will be the winner.

All these tips will work in your business and personal dealings. You never win an injustice within a relationship by being overly emotional and exploding. You might win the fight but you ultimately lose the war.

You give all your power to the person that already hurt you by letting them take control of your emotional state. Step back and analyze why you are angry, list the feelings that are adding up, that make you feel that way, and then think about how to deal with those feelings individually.

I learned in a seminar once, that anger in itself is not a feeling… but the result or sum of other feelings. You can’t just feel anger, it usually comes from a compilation of feelings. For example if someone lies to you might feel the following:







Sum total:           ANGER


By diffusing the feelings that cause “anger” you can see more clearly and focus on the best solution.

You are a special person and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Respect yourself by staying in control of your emotions when you’ve been wronged and will find these types of situations decrease. You run your life. Don’t let someone or something else try to.

Thanks for listening, hope these tips help somehow, somewhere, sometime.

Cheers, Smiles and Success,
Crazy J

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